My Anxious Thoughts
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Know my anxious thoughts... Every time I go to the doctor, and he collects his initial information on me it always includes the question, “Are you under any stress?” And for years, decades now, I always so no. I figure that I have running water and plenty of food, my husband is employed, and I stay home and basically read with my kids all day. No stress in that. And then one day it hit me... YES! I am under incredible amounts of stress, all day, all the time. Why on earth have I been answering no to that question?!
I am raising kids. How will they turn out? What are they going to do after high school? Whom are they going to marry? Are they going to be able to get good jobs? Did I mess them up? I can wake myself up out of a sound sleep wondering if I could do more. How about my Women’s Bible Study friends at church? We keep a prayer request list with each other and the needs on there are incredible! I can’t help anyone’s employment, marriage, sick kids, or unsaved family? All I can do is pray with them? How about the unsaved people that I know? That is super stressful to think about. What are they going to do? How can I share more; how can I get them to understand that time is running out? My parents are aging very well, but I can get myself worrying in that area too. And how about this election season in our country? Holy cow!
Yes. I have anxious thoughts. I have stress. And I wasn’t paying any attention to it. I’ve lived thinking nothing is wrong when there is so much to worry about for all these people I love. But as I look closely to my list of anxieties, I see that the stress lies in the word “I.” What did I do? How can I help? What’s going to happen to me? I notice that when God is not a factor in the equation, and I’m only using personal pronouns in my thoughts, then there will certainly be anxiety and stress.
Know my anxious thoughts... I need to let God know what stresses me out. Every single thing, big or small. I need the pronouns to be about HIM and not ME. Lord, what are YOU going to do? Let the WBS ladies trust in YOU. Help my kids always follow YOU. Show my unsaved friends that they need YOU!
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
I pray for the many overwhelming prayer requests that I see every week, I pray for the many health concerns for people that I know and love, I pray for my kids to do well and to be well, I pray for my family, I pray for our unsaved loved ones, and I pray for our country and for all the things that stress me out. Help me to trust you. Help me not to neglect praying for these dear people. Help me turn all my worries into little prayers today and to be thankful for all you have done. You have done so much, and you love me so much, and I thank you for your faithfulness that is even steadier than my anxiety. I love you so much and I pray in Jesus’ name, amen.